down, somewhere…on paper, on my blog, in my phone

because then I feel obligated to fulfill them.

said and done.

ANYWAYS…

my goals for this week/ upcoming month

*drink way more water and gatorade

*moisturize skin daily with lotion that has an SPF in it

*start running

WHY you might ask?  Well I’ve noticed since I’ve been drinking more water, I feel so much better.  My body needs it to work it’s magic and replenish itself throughout the day, and I’m sick of depriving it -___- replacing pop and even certain acidic/sugary juices.  NEXT.  I have decided that being tan is no longer important to me.  Weird I know…When I was a sophomore in high school I only felt pretty when I was tan.  I tanned obsessive amounts outdoor and indoor.  And most likely did a lot of damage to my skin.  Now that I am on accutane, and getting rid of my acne, I want to do what I can to keep my skin looking and feeling healthier longer.  Gone are the days where I felt pretty when I was unnaturally dark.  I am happy as long as my skin is protected:)  The skin is the largest organ of the body, and therefore requires some TLC:)  LASTLY, since I started accutange, everytime I attempt to take a dose I get an anxiety attack because I’m afraid that I will experience a severe side affect :/  Well chances are I won’t…but try telling that to me when my heart is racing balls to the walls, and I feel like I can’t breath!  Running increases endorphins which obviously make you happier, relieving stress and anxiety.  In addition, it helps you breath better since your blood is carrying more oxygen.  With this being said, I am looking forward to a weekend of R&R, and I’m excited to get back and start working next Saturday:) I sincerely hope my client likes me!

I have been filling out job applications left and right for the past two weeks and didn’t hear anything back:(  I went to visit two of my best friends Sunday afternoon.  When I met up with Alyssa and Sam, I was complaining about not being hired anywhere:(  Alyssa’s mom overheard me complaining, and told me about how they had a “case” in Canton that needed someone full time.  I scored an interview Monday, and was hired on the spot.  Thursday I start training as an attendant care:) Helping the elderly and disabled with their everyday activities.  I’m really excited for this job!  My family said ever since I was 3 years old, I loved being around elderly people (strange, I know).  But they said I would insist on eating with the adults instead of the kids at dinners, and that I loved sitting on elderly people’s laps (again….idk…), and that I used to stop by this older’s man house everyday after school because I had to say hi to him before going home.  My mom said I’ve always had an old soul in a young body.  So needless to say I am excited:)  I am however very nervous, because I’m afraid something could happen while on the job and for whatever reason I wouldn’t be provide proper care.  I could never live with that:(  I also started Accutane today!  I’ve been waiting to get the approval for this for a year… I have been on several antibiotics, retanoids, birth control pills, I’ve had several acid peels, laser procedures, cortisone injections, microdermabrasion,  I’ve tried proactive, washing my face with sulfur, benzyl peroxide, salicylic acid, whatever!  This is the last resort. I would say in total my parents have spent over $4,000 on products/ procedures for my face…maybe even more.  SO  I really hope this works!  I am however extremely worried, because the drug has so many serious side affects that can happen, and I’m a hypochondriac times ten.  BUT my mom is reminding me that I come from a medically sound gene pool, and that if my dermatologist was truly concerned about me being on it, she wouldn’t have put me on the drug.  In addition to this overwhelming week, I spent Monday night at ER with my mom:(  Out of nowhere Monday night, my Dad screamed for help when I was upstairs rounding up the troops for dinner.  My brother, sister, and I came running downstairs to find my mom half conscious, with blood all over her hands and face.  She was staggering all over the house, mumbling things.  So we quickly left the house and took her to the emergency room.  When I got back home my brother and I found pools of blood all over the basement…bloody hand prints on the walls, and the door.  The fire place was dented in, and my brother’s drum set was smashed to pieces.  The mouse in the computer room was pulled out of the monitor completely and strewn across the floor.  It was so incredibly weird.  She spent the night and the next at the hospital getting tests done.  The doctors are still baffled as to what happened.  And to make things weirder, my mom doesn’t remember a damn thing.  But they checked her head and she had no brain trama?  She had an EEG, a Catscan, and an MRI.  They checked her blood pressure, and sugar when she was admitted that night, and both were normal?  The doctors now believe she may have had a seizure but who knows.  The whole family is a little on edge right now with everything going on.  But she’s taken a couple days off for some R&R.  

but I feel like buying a canvas and paint, and spend the day painting 

SO UNLIKE ME